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How to cope with the pain of divorce

Divorce is not just about figuring out various legal and financial issues. It also involves a lot of emotional pain. The end of your marriage may cause you to feel numerous uncomfortable and scary feelings, such as grief, guilt, anxiety, depression, anger and resentment. 

As painful as these emotions are, they are usually part of the natural grieving process. Although there is no way to completely rid yourself of these feelings, there are plenty of ways to cope with them. Here are some healthy tips for managing your emotions as your marriage ends. 

Allow yourself to grieve

Grief is a normal reaction to loss. Trying to fight the grieving process is usually counterproductive, as it prolongs or further complicates it. The best way to escape grief is to go through it. It may take several months or years for the intensity of the pain to cease. As you let yourself feel these emotions, you will find that you can begin to move on day by day. 

Focus on your priorities

Unfortunately, the wheels of life do not stop turning even when you are hurting. Despite the things you feel, you still need to take care of the formalities of the divorce process. You may also need to find a new place to live, make a new budget and accomplish various chores. You can make lists of what you need to do and start with the ones that are most important. This helps you feel more in control in an otherwise uncertain situation. 

Talk to someone

It is important to vocalize your pain in a safe setting. You may benefit from simply opening up to a long-time friend or relative. Finding someone who will let you vent without judging you or adding more toxicity to the situation can be a great help. You may also consider joining a support group or seeing a therapist, especially if you are dealing with intense depression or anxiety. 

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