Now that your divorce is over, you may find your life is a mess. Where do you start in getting it back together? What does getting it back together even look like?
Divorce is tragic and painful, but it can also be an opportunity for growth and happiness you did not experience before.
The hardest healing happens in the heart. If you are suffering from depression, speak to your health care provider or a therapist. Find a reliable support group, whether of local friends or online divorce survivors. Remember to take care of yourself in the following ways:
- Exercise and get rest to lift your mood
- Eat well to nourish your body
- Meditate to work through difficult emotions with self-compassion
- Practice or learn a hobby to encourage creativity
- Spend quality time with uplifting friends
Avoid behaviors that provide a quick high but not lasting joy or progress, such as going on a shopping spree.
Divorce takes a heavy toll on your finances. You will have a new budget to live by. You may want to utilize the services of a divorce financial planner to help you rebuild financial security at a realistic pace. Remember to update all accounts, policies and estate plans to reflect your current circumstances. Talk to an accountant about the effects your divorce will have on taxes, and speak to your lawyer about any necessary divorce modifications.
As a mother, you undoubtedly are worried about your children’s recovery. On the one hand, you hear that divorce has numerous negative consequences for children. On the other, you hear that children are resilient. Either can be true depending on your marriage, divorce and recovery.
However, you can increase the chances of your children’s emotional success by setting an example of healthy recovery. Learn to feel and express your emotions and to listen to your kids express theirs. Include your kids in exercise, nutritious eating and family time. Be reliable, compassionate and trustworthy so your children know they can turn to you for help and healing.