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How a gray divorce can change your personal relationships


As an older divorcing couple, you will spend a lot of time thinking about your assets. Yet, one thing of value you might overlook is the relationships you and your spouse have built up over your time together.

If you divorce when your children are adults, you will not have to worry about child custody battles. Yet, the end of your marriage will still have a significant effect on other people.

Divorce ends one relationship but will affect many of your relationships

No man or woman is an island. We are all connected to many other people. The breakup of any relationship, be it a friendship, or marriage always has a knock-on effect. Here are three sets of people to consider when divorcing later in life:

  1. Your children: Your relationship with each child will be different from your spouse’s. One of you may be closer to a particular child, the other closer to a different child. If you create a situation where your children feel compelled to takes sides, it could cause you all harm.
  2. Your grandchildren: No child wants to see granny and grandpa fighting. You need to find a way to both spend time with your grandchildren. Family traditions such as Christmas will be particularly tough for them.
  3. Your friends: While you and your spouse will each have individual friends, there will be couples with whom you have gone through married life. They may be neighbors, school parents or work colleagues. Regardless of who started the relationship, they are now friends to both of you. Your friends will not know which of you to invite if the two of you cannot get on.

Consider using mediation or an alternative form of dispute resolution to settle your divorce. The more amicable you keep things, the less your divorce will affect the people around you — and that can help you keep your own social life on track.

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