There is no way around the fact that your divorce will be difficult for your kids. They may struggle with feelings of loss and anxiety. It is possible for them to even blame themselves and feel overwhelming guilt. But ending an unhealthy marriage may be better for them in the long run.
Still, it is important to recognize the hardships your children experience and help them throughout the process. Consider the following guidelines for helping your children cope with the divorce.
Offer love and reassurance
Your overall goal should be to make sure your children feel loved. It is easy for some kids to feel like they are somehow at fault for the divorce because they are not lovable. Do not assume your children know and feel your love. Make it a point to consistently and clearly communicate your love. It will go a long way towards the healing process.
One unhealthy way kids often cope with divorce is by keeping their feelings to themselves. While you do not necessarily want to pester or force your children to talk, let them know you are there to listen. Let them know you will not judge them for whatever emotions they experience. If your children only bottle up their emotions and isolate themselves, they may not cope with the situation in a healthy manner.
Never fight in front of them
It is normal for you and your ex-spouse to have continuing disagreements, especially related to finances or reliability. But no matter how much your ex frustrates you, keep the arguing away from your children. This will only continue to make your kids feel torn between the two of you. You do not need to be best friends, but you can both vow to keep the fights private for the sake of your children’s mental well-being.